Hi Fear, We Need To Talk

This might seem a little strange that I am addressing you directly seeing how I’ve spent most of my life allowing you to call all the shots and pretending like I don’t even see you. However, it has come to my attention that you are actually getting in the way of some pretty awesome things I want to do with my life and I’ve had enough!

I’m over you telling me that I can’t take a risk because I might fail or people might think negative things about me. I’ve had enough of you planting seeds in my brain that grow into massive, paralyzing thoughts that prevent me from sharing my feelings in a meeting or starting a new project or going on an adventure.

Listen, I know that you have a real, tangible, and practical role in my life. And for this, I am grateful for you. Thank you for keeping me safe as a small child, even though I don’t have a specific memory, I’m sure you told me to avoid running in the street because of the fast-moving cars (I know I was a bit reckless as a kid) and I’m grateful. There is one particular time in early adulthood that you stepped in, big time, I am confident my life would have taken a different direction, had you not been there (you know that time where too much alcohol was involved), I am eternally grateful for you!

So here’s the thing.

I am currently at a place in my life where I still need you around for the big life-threatening moments. You know, where you tell me to run, fight or freeze. Please stick around during those times. Your strengths really come out then and I want you to know I value you.

Here’s where I need you to change: I need you to take a step back and allow joy to have its time to shine. Basically, anytime that my life is not in immediate or perceived danger, hang back. There are many emotions that have felt overshadowed by you over the years, it’s not your fault, really. I have given you a ton of power and space to run the show.

This is going to change.

I understand if this feels uncomfortable and it might take some practice for you to learn to pause and allow others to have their space. We are a team and we will walk through this together.

Thank you again for all the times in my life you have stepped up and literally saved my life. You’ve worked hard and it’s time for a break. Besides, you will really like joy, she’s peaked her head in when you weren’t looking and it’s time for her to settle in.